I am a Christian. I don't identify with a denomination other than the generic Protestant. I don't believe in men making decisions about what God has to say. I think he made it clear in the bible which is why I don't identify as Baptist, Methodist, Episcopal, or anything else. I believe in a personal relationship with God and do not merit any works as a means to heaven.
It's a scary thing in this day and age to declare these things publicly. And while I'm not on a soap box in downtown SLC, or even writing for a large following, I do feel it is important that I share this information. I have friends, colleagues, and family that do not agree with my position. I don't like to take social media or my professionalism to use as a soapbox, but I do want to be clear. I don't judge anyone else for having different beliefs - but this is me. You should know the real me.
There is a lot to share in my personal journey and evolution of my relationship with Christ. I can't do that all here in one post. And I don't really plan on doing it regularly. That's not the intention of this blog. This blog is about travel, and well this journey is one that has been important in my life lately. I may choose to write more later, but I don't know yet. For now, I know that I want to share some insight into my family and our journey to find a church.
When we lived in Denton we found a church that we both absolutely loved. Then we moved to Utah. It was confusing to see a temple/stake center on every corner. Heck, I was used to seeing Baptist churches! So we dragged our feet and checked out a few churches as we thought about it. Some were shockingly evangelical...completely freaked my born and raised Southern Baptist husband. Some were a bit too immature, my deep thinker just didn't think it was enough for him to grow from. But this new one seems to be just right.
You see, we both have very different backgrounds when it comes to churches.
Andrew, as I mentioned was raised in Baptist churches. When he was in middle school his family switched to a new church so that his sister could find a good youth program. She loved it, but Andrew was miserable. He didn't fit in with the kids that attended and saw a lot of hypocrisy as he moved into high school. One of the things I truly love about my husband is his passion for learning. He is no different when it comes to theology. He's a quiet guy, but he does have a lot of opinions and reads a lot. I respect him immensely and want him to have the opportunity to chose a church where he feels comfortable. He doesn't like sermons that are surface level. He thinks we should be gaining some insight and depth, and well, our last church was fantastic at that!
Now me. My father was a chaplain in the air force. He pastored his own Baptist church when I was a baby. Unfortunately the Southern Baptist stigma rang true in small town Texas and my family struggled with the whole denomination from that point on. Growing up we were never members of any church through we regularly attended a Bible Church from the time I was 5-17. We were involved, I was active in Awana, Small groups, the praise team (for a brief period), and my parents helped out with children's Sunday school. We felt loved there, and not domineered by a denomination or the political aspects of church administration. The teachings were based strictly on the Bible. When I turned about 17 my life had changed a lot. I was a bit more jaded and I suddenly realized that sleeping through the college like lectures of my pastor was not OK. Sure, I really enjoyed our Youth group and got a lot out of the message. But high school was almost over.
Not to mention when you attend a church for so long you see people change. I was frustrated by cliques that I was seeing evolve in our Youth group. As a very jealous person I was irritated to see people getting all of the attention and opportunities. I realized that it was time to move on. I needed to find a place where I was growing and learning, and a place where I felt loved and wanted. I just didn't feel that way anymore. (DISCLAIMER: I am not blaming anyone for this change of heart. If anything I am to blame for feeling distant and frustrated. My jealousy is probably my biggest struggle and unfortunately I let it warp my perception and take over my emotions. It's something I still struggle with today. There are a lot of friends that I have made at the church I grew up in, and for that I am so grateful. I think anyone who knew me in middle school really saw my heart. High school changed things, and not always for the better. I don't blame the church or it's members....but things changed and I needed to move on.)
When we went off to college there was another Bible church very similar to the one I grew up in. Andrew had been a few times and really liked it. But a lot of those same people (it's really common for people to move to Denton from my hometown) were attending the church, and it wasn't the fresh start I wanted. We turned our attention to a different church, and I'll be honest things were tough for quite a while. If high school was a change of heart, college was a roller coaster. I dealt with issues I wasn't prepared for, and struggled with demons that kept me from accepting the grace I have always revered. Thankfully I wasn't left alone to figure things out, Christ kept with me and led me back to him. (Not that I was ever truly away...just struggling.)
Finding this church here in Utah wasn't easy, and for two people who are shy it can be hard to really join into a new community. We are both pushing ourselves to get involved and make this church our home. I'm excited to see what we will learn and what kind of encouragement we can gain.
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